


Les Jizzerables

by Esteliel



Category: Les Misérables RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Chains, Character hits head and wakes up in porn movie version of their life, Filming, M/M, method acting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-23 00:06:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18538234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esteliel/pseuds/Esteliel
Summary: Dominic hits his head and wakes up on the set ofLes Jizzerables...





	Les Jizzerables

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iberiandoctor (jehane)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jehane/gifts).



Dominic groaned when he woke. What had happened? He dimly remembered a sensation like falling from a great height, dust thick in his mouth, the world tilting around him...

He grimaced when he tried to move. His head hurt as if he’d been drinking for three days straight.

"Fuck," he muttered, trying to open his eyes. That hurt too. There was light coming from somewhere above him, and the sensation coupled with the pain in his head was enough to make his eyes tear up.

He could barely make out the rough ground he was lying on, but the thick, yellow dust stirred his memory.

The quarry. Right. They were shooting _Les Misérables_. They’d been doing the quarry scene. He’d been up on the rickety wooden platform, hacking away at a rock for a couple of takes because Tom kept saying that they needed it to look convincing—although Dominic was pretty sure it was because Tom was trying to make certain that he’d got just the right shot of sweat dripping down his chest.

Not that Dominic could fault him for that.

"What happened?"

Dominic squinted. That was Tom’s voice.

He slowly raised himself up on his arms. Except for the persistent headache, it didn’t feel like he’d hurt anything.

"I’m fine, Tom.” He winced when he touched the back of his head. "Just a headache."

There was the sound of background chatter—cameramen and assistants trying to figure out how to change the schedule for today, perhaps, but Dominic was still feeling a little too woozy to pay attention to them. A moment later, a pair of boots came into view—black leather polished to a perfect shine.

When Dominic warily raised his head, he saw that David had somehow made it down the side of the quarry. He was staring at him now with that weird intensity that shouldn’t feel so disconcerting, because it wasn’t like Dominic hadn’t worked with method actors before, and it wasn’t like he himself hadn’t played way worse characters. Still, something about David-as-Javert was fucking unsettling.

"What’s this?" David said, London accent and period glower and all, never breaking character even though the cameras had long since stopped rolling.

“No idea what happened." Dominic grimaced again, but at least his ability to focus had returned. "I have a hell of a headache. But I’m fine. Give me a moment and I’ll be good to go—"

"Must be nerves," one of the assistants said in the background. "Big scene coming up for you this evening."

There was snickering following that, which was a bit weird. The guardroom scene was coming up this evening—which, granted, had a lot of chains in it, but it wasn’t like he was going to do any talking. It was David who was going to try and deliver a long monologue without boring their audience and losing the tension they’d found together.

"No, that last take was perfect," Tom said. "You go and rest. You sure you’re fine?"

Dominic nodded. One of the crew came forward and grabbed his hand to help him get up, which made his head throb worse for a minute.

“Some painkillers for this headache and I’ll be as good as new."

“Make sure to drink lots of water,” Tom said and gave his shoulder a pat. "Guys, we’re going to do the guard orgy instead—get moving."

Dominic chuckled at Tom’s joke, but his head still hurt enough that he refraining from joining in. David was glaring at him, still the method actor, and Dominic gave him a little thumbs-up when he moved past him. 

"Don’t worry about me, mate. Remember what we said—go as hard as you need to."

"Oh, I will," David murmured, his eyes full of a dark promise.

"Fucking method actors," the assistant next to him said once they were out of earshot. "Can you imagine, on a set like this? Where does he think he is? Of course, Tom thinks it’s great. Thinks this is going to be his big break. Where do they think this is going to end up? The BBC?"

"…Isn’t it?" Dominic said weakly.

The man snickered. "You really hit that head pretty hard, huh? Go on, rest a bit. The boss needs you in good shape for your big scene. Can’t wait to see it myself. Always been a big fan of that ass of yours, I got to say."

“Uh, thanks.” It had taken rather a lot of hot yoga to keep those buns of steel of his in shape. "We’re still doing the guard room scene tonight, right?"

Dominic had no idea why everyone kept going on about the scene to this degree. He was just going to hang in his chains and react. Lots of close-ups on his face—but he’d already spent a few days as Valjean-the-convict. He had no trouble finding the right headspace for this. It was David who was going to have to work hard tonight.

His head was still aching so much that he didn’t even realize what had happened to his trailer until he’d settled down on his couch, swallowing two aspirin and emptying an entire bottle of water.

Then, when the pounding behind his brow finally lessened, he opened his eyes—and found himself face to face with a giant dildo, right there on the desk, facing him.

"What the fuck.” A delighted grin spread across his face. "Lily, I’ll get you back for this."

She’d obviously invested a lot of time and care into this prank. It wasn’t just the dildo—there were several pornographic photos taped to his mirror. He found not one, not two, but ten bottles of lube in the drawer where he kept his emergency chocolate. And when his gaze fell onto the script that was still open on the other end of the couch, he saw that she’d even managed to switch it for the script to some sort of Les Mis themed porno.

"Fuck, you’re good." He hated to admit it, but she’d set the bar pretty high. Pranking one’s fellow co-stars was a time-honoured tradition to battle the tedium of set life—but most people started out slow. Like switching his soap with lube.

But not Lily. Lily had somehow written an entire fucking porno script.

"Probably outsourced it. That little minx." His headache was all but forgotten as he leafed through the script of _Les Jizzerables_ , shaking his head in admiration at the way she’d rewritten the carriage ride back to Montreuil from Arras.

_JAVERT: I’ll teach you how to pay proper respect to the law._

_JAVERT gestures with the gun he holds suggestively on his lap. Reluctantly, VALJEAN drops to his knees on the floor. JAVERT opens his trousers. Closeup on his hard cock._

_JAVERT: Suck it, Monsieur 24601._

Dominic couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore. He let the script drop as he fell back on his couch, laughing until there were tears in his eyes.

"Suck it, Monsieur 24601," he mouthed, wiping at his eyes.

It really was a pity that David was so far up his own method acting arse that he wouldn’t admit to what was quite obvious to everyone else on set. Because prank or not, that scene was pretty close to the vibe he’d gotten from the original scene.

For a moment, he considered turning the joke back on her by _accidentally_ acting out the wrong script. Only, knowing David, he’d probably pull the trigger if Dominic went straight for his dick.

Still, he’d have to pay her back somehow. The care she’d put into this was incredible. His trailer really looked like it came straight from a porn set. The crew had to be in on it as well, otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to set it up so quickly.

When the knock on his door came, he’d made it halfway through the script of _Les Jizzerables_. Reading took a long time because he was still crying tears of laughter. He really had to find out who’d done the prank script for Lily, because damn if it didn’t read like the real thing. He had half a mind to produce that damn porno himself now, even if it would be his first foray into executive producing gay porn.

"You ready for the evening shot?"

"Give me a second.” He hastily set the porn script aside.

At least he was still in makeup and costume. By the time he’d made it onto the set again, it was already dark outside. They weren’t filming on a real ship; instead, the guard room was situated inside an old building the location scouts had found for them.

His make-up needed some touch-ups, but it didn’t take long until everyone was in place for their first take of the guard room scene, Dominic shackled by the chains that dangled down from the ceiling.

“And remember—this is a classy production. Sexy, but classy,” Tom said.

Dominic grinned as he thought of the script in his trailer. Maybe this was how he’d get his revenge—he’d exchange that script for Tom’s somehow.

“And action,” Tom called out from behind him.

All thoughts of the fake script and Lily’s prank fell away. It was just Valjean and Javert in the room now.

He turned his head when he saw movement in the shadows to his left. David was leaning against a wooden beam, looking immaculate in his costume. The shirt was further unbuttoned than he would have expected from someone as fastidious as Javert, but given David’s whole method thing, Dominic was perfectly happy to defer to whatever David and Tom had worked out between them.

"Prisoner 24601," David murmured, hooking one finger into the open triangle of his shirt until another button popped open, revealing even more flawless, gleaming skin already damp with sweat.

Dominic swallowed despite himself. Fuck. Now Tom’s _sexy_ was starting to make sense—but how? Had Tom talked it through with David until he’d finally come to the same conclusion as Dominic had when he’d first read the book—that there was no way the tension between them _wasn’t_ repressed sexual attraction?

"I knew I’d have you back in here sooner or later." David pushed himself off from the wooden beam and came towards him with an almost exaggerated swagger—only what should have looked slightly ridiculous on fastidious Javert instead looked both intimidating and sexy.

_Fuck. Focus._

Fortunately Dominic didn’t have any lines in this scene, or he’d have already blown the take.

David stopped in front of him. There was a smug smile on his face, and he moved with a confident ease Dominic couldn’t help but admire.

As annoyed as he was by David’s method acting bullshit keeping him away from Dominic—as if Dominic wasn’t someone whose friendship was worth having, especially when they were cooped up together on this set for six months—it really, really worked for David.

"There are two types of men," David drawled. "Those who prey on society, and those who guard it. Those who dominate men like you—and those who submit. And we both know what you are. I think it’s high time you learned that lesson."

What the fuck? That wasn’t in the script.

Dominic had stayed carefully calm during David’s improvised speech, because hey, sometimes going off script was what it took—but then David reached out for the dirty, red blouse Dominic wore and simply ripped it off him.

Dominic couldn’t suppress a flinch of surprise, his eyes widening—but David kept going, and the cameras were still going, and Tom hadn’t yelled at them to stop whatever the hell this was, so he tried his best to keep going along with it.

That was, until David’s hand dropped to his own trousers and opened them to reveal his cock, just like that. His rock-hard cock.

_Fuck._

Dominic couldn’t look away, wondering for a moment if he was hallucinating thanks to the way he’d hit his head earlier.

Or maybe David was in on the joke? Maybe everyone on this fucking set was in on it.

And it wasn’t like Dominic didn’t deserve it, because he had never left an opportunity to joke around himself. If the others had decided to have their revenge now, it was only fair.

Still. To think that they’d gotten David of all people to join in on this—to go far enough to get his dick out on camera...

Who knew, maybe that was another fucking method quirk. Maybe that was Javert’s sort of humor.

Or maybe, _maybe_ , Dominic had been right all along and Javert had taken the first opportunity to get his boner out for Valjean.

_Told you so,_ he muttered in his head while he stared at David’s rather impressive boner. Impossibly, the cameras kept rolling.

And then David went for _his_ dick.

_What the fuck?_

Only years and years and years of doing all sorts of weird shit in front of a camera kept him from breaking character when David ripped open his trousers.

They dropped to the floor, David’s _hand_ was on his dick, he was still chained up, and he was fucking _getting hard_ from all of this—and the cameras kept rolling.

"There," David said tauntingly. "That’s the sort of man you are. The sort of man you’ll always be."

All Dominic managed was a gasp when David’s thumb rubbed against his glans.

"I’m going to teach you how to properly surrender to the law." David was sounding _smug_ about all of this.

Then David released his dick while Dominic was still gasping for breath. He couldn’t believe what was happening—were the cameras still fucking rolling?

David licked his lips, then trailed his hand over Dominic’s chest. He flicked his thumb against his nipple, then slightly dug in with his nail until Dominic groaned.

"And next time," David murmured, still all smug, "next time you see me, you’re going to drop to your knees and beg to be allowed to serve me."

He kept his hand on Dominic’s skin as he stepped around him. From the corner of his eye, Dominic saw motion—the cameras were moving with him.

Really, all of that for a joke? It was fucking brilliant blooper material, he’d give them that—but they couldn’t put hard dicks onto the DVD set, could they?

Then David’s hand squeezed his arse appreciatively, and Dominic lost his trail of thought. A moment later, Dominic slapped his butt, which stung enough to make him gasp,

He couldn’t believe that they’d managed to get David in on this—David, who’d given him that cool, distanced look and called his suggestion crass when they’d first talked about the dynamics of this scene.

Snooty David, who’d say no to every single invitation to go out with him for dinner until even Dominic had at last been forced to give up—and he wasn’t someone who gave up easily. But maybe that had been their plan all along. Maybe David had been in on it from the beginning, and had only distanced himself to help the others pull this off.

With sudden shook he realized that David’s hand had lingered on his arse—and that, while he’d desperately tried to figure out what sort of joke they were playing on him, David’s fingers had wandered towards his crack. They explored inside as Dominic’s eyes widened—surely the cameras couldn’t still be rolling?—and then, without further warning, one of David’s fingers found his hole and slid inside, just like that.

His mind reeling, Dominic struggled to draw breath, unable to look away from David who was smirking—that smug, superior smirk he’d worn when he’d taunted Valjean with his mistake in adding up the sum of his life’s earnings.

And maybe it was true that he’d tried to flirt outrageously with David, and that he’d spent way too many hours bored in his trailer daydreaming of David fucking him, or of getting to fuck David, and it was also true that it would be far from the first time he’d hooked up with someone on set, and at this point, given that she had to listen to him sulk on the phone every day, his wife would be delighted if he could just get it out of his system—but to have David _fingering_ him on camera was just so impossible that he didn’t even realize that David had leaned in until David’s mouth was on his.

The kiss was completely unlike anything he’d expected as well. Oh, he’d always thought that David had to be a good kisser—but to just go in like that, in front of the cameras, kissing him as if he had every right to, as if he hadn’t said no to each and every of Dominic’s increasingly desperate advances… And now David was basically fucking him with his tongue while his finger curled inside Dominic’s arse until it was Dominic’s toes that were curling and he was gasping helpless, soft sounds into David’s mouth that were embarrassingly close to whimpers.

"So, convict," David said when he pulled back, still the same smirk on his face. "Ready for the hard rod of the law?"

Dominic almost lost it right then and there—but the cameras were still fucking rolling. It was obvious now what was happening here. They hadn’t just left that ridiculous _Les Jizzerables_ script in his trailer, they’d actually committed to filming a scene of it—probably expecting that Dominic would cry for a halt and break character as soon as David pulled out his dick.

Which showed how little they knew him. If this was the game they were playing, well, two could play that game.

Somehow, Dominic was certain that they’d reach David’s limits much faster than they’d find his.

Although, shit—he really should have read more of that script. He’d been too distracted by the carriage blow job to leaf back to the beginning.

Still, all porn was more or less the same, wasn’t it?

"I’ll never submit to you." Dominic wasn’t supposed to talk at all in this scene—but this did sound like something his porn alter ego would say.

In any case, David didn’t seem put off by it. David was still hard, and gorgeous, and entirely unmoved by how ridiculous all of this was.

"Wrong," David murmured, trailing his hand back down Dominic’s chest until he could wrap it around his dick again, giving him an experimental tug. "You know you’re wrong. Your body knows it. Your body is begging to be fucked by me."

Dominic groaned, unable to keep from thrusting lightly into David’s grasp. All of this was entirely unfair—had David been teasing him through the entire shoot just for this moment? Not that Dominic could really begrudge it, if that were the case. He’d have done the same.

David stepped back, then began to circle him once more. Dominic shivered when David’s hand trailed down his back. 

"As if you have what it takes to bring me to my knees."

David was still running with whatever he said, it seemed, because he didn’t even stop for a second, his fingers trailing right down to Dominic’s arse again. And while he was pretty certain that this was the first time he’d ever played with someone’s arse on camera, it definitely wasn’t the first time Dominic had his arse played with in front of a camera—not that that was public knowledge. At least he didn’t think it was.

He’d probably mentioned it to a reporter or two, now that he thought about it.

"Don’t I?" David said ominously, and then Dominic could feel his cock, hot and hard and _right there_ , holy shit, David was really going for it.

There were some moments in life when even someone who’d spent his entire adult life in front of cameras forgot how to act.

The moment when another guy’s—thankfully lubricated—dick slid right into you without so much as a please or thank you was one of those moments.

"Don’t I?" David repeated, his voice low and throaty.

For a moment, Dominic forgot all about the shoot, all about the cameras, even about the prank as he hung in his chains, trembling all over as he tried to adjust to the sudden penetration. Lube or no, it had been a while, and no matter how much he’d wanted David to fuck him, this was a bit sudden.

Not that he was complaining because fuck, David knew exactly how to fuck him, drawing a moan from Dominic’s throat with every thrust.

Let him try to explain _that_ later on!

"Fuck," he groaned, "please..."

"That’s more like it," David growled, "convict."

Helplessly panting, Dominic clenched his fingers around the chains to hold himself upright at David’s relentless assault. With every thrust, David hit his prostrate just right, reducing Dominic to an aching bundle of nerves, his body shaking as he pushed back eagerly for more. 

His eyes clenched shut, the cameras and the elaborate prank fell away for a moment. Maybe it had all been a dream, he thought dizzily. He’d hit his head, after all. David would never agree to have anyone film him like this, even if it was just for a cast party, to be destroyed later.

David would never...

But David was here, _inside_ him, fucking him as if that was something he’d done all his life, as if Dominic wasn’t the one with the reputation for hooking up with his co-stars out of sheer boredom on set, as if David hadn’t rebuffed every single advance he’d made...

"Please," Dominic groaned again, arching in his chains, wishing desperately that David would just reach around and touch him, God, he’d do anything for that—

"You can do better than that," David murmured. "Come on, 24601. You know what I want."

"Please, fuck me, sir," he heard himself moaning. "Oh God, please, sir!"

"That’s what you are, Valjean," David growled into his ear. "The whore of the law. Don’t you ever forget it."

Shit. It should be ridiculous, but something about the way David snarled the words, still in character even now, did things for Dominic.

Great. David would probably never touch him again after this stupid prank of his, and here Dominic was developing a crush on his ridiculous-but-hot porn persona.

Well. If this was a one-time thing, he’d just have to make it count…

"Please, sir," he moaned wantonly. "Punish me. Give me your big, hard rod of the law."

Well, he’d never live _that_ down, but right now, he really didn’t fucking care, because David obliged him by picking up his speed, every single, smooth thrust hitting its aim until it felt as if his body was on fire. He trembled, kept there on the edge as David battered his prostate with the skill of an actual porn star—and then, at last, David reached around to grip his dick, and that one touch was all it took to make Dominic come so hard he must have actually blacked out.

When he regained consciousness, he was resting on a couch, a blanket over his legs—shit, and he was still naked underneath it, although someone seemed to have cleaned him up a bit.

Tom was sitting on a chair by his side, looking worried. By his feet, David was waiting, still in costume—and still in character, judging by his grim look.

"There you are," Tom said in relief, pushing a bottle of water into his hand. "Here, drink that."

"Scared you, did I?" Dominic said with a weak smile. "Don’t worry, I’m all right. That’s what you get from trying to prank me, of all people. I hope you saved that shot. I know my wife will want a copy—"

"Saved it? Don’t be ridiculous, of course I did. It’s perfect—which is lucky, given that you wouldn’t have been available for another take." Tom raised a brow at him. "Shit, Dom, I know this is our entire huge PR hook for this—the first time ever you bottom on tape—but please tell me this wasn’t the first time ever you—"

At the foot of his bed, David scoffed. "Oh, that was far from the first time. He enjoyed it all right, didn’t he? None of that was in the script—all that begging for the big, hard rod of the law."

He gave Dominic that smug smile again, who bristled a bit in return, because after all he’d just lost consciousness with David’s dick in his arse. If there was a moment to cut back on the stupid method acting thing and pamper the poor recovering Dominic with some loving attention, then surely this was it.

Instead, David slowly came closer.

"Don’t think you can skive off work," he said in a low voice. "There’s the night shoot later on. Your escape. Your recapture. You better be ready to beg for mercy on your knees and with your mouth on my cock. And no more fainting. We’re all professionals here, and we’re on a tight schedule as is."

"Now, now," Tom said, "let him recover first, David—"

With a grimace, Dominic forced himself upright, ignoring his pounding headache. "Please tell me you’re not still playing at this," he said. "Come on, guys. You got me. I fell for your prank. Les Jizzerables, haha, very funny, you even got your own sex tape out of it. Can we just get back to work now?"

Tom gave him a weird look. "That’s what we’re doing, Dom. How hard did you hit your head?"

“ _You_ wanted to executive produce _Les Jizzerables_ ," David said bitingly. "Having opinions about absolutely everything. What’s the matter now? Scared everyone will know that the big bad top Dominic West secretly really really loves bottoming?"

"Guys, really, give it a break,” Tom said.

Dominic squinted at the table. There was a magazine there with a familiar-looking cover—it was familiar, he realized all of the sudden, because the face on the cover was his own.

Only he couldn’t remember ever dressing up in leather from head to toe for a photoshoot...

Ignoring his headache, he reached out and grabbed hold of the magazine, then hastily leafed through it until he found the article about himself.

More pictures, all of them weirdly unreal, because that was _him_ , but at the same time it wasn’t. In some he was naked, in others he was only wearing a leather harness—in one particular photo, he was wearing assless chaps, showing off a bum that was definitely his own.

Gritting his teeth, he closed the magazine again. Then, finally, he registered the words printed on the title page.

"PORN TIMES," it said in huge letters. And below, a little smaller: _"Notorious powertop Dominic West promises bottoming debut in Shankland’s new_ Les Jizzerables _."_

"That’s a joke, right?" he said, then looked up. The others were giving him confused looks. "Please tell me this is a joke?"

David was still glowering at him, and Tom was watching him with concern, as if it was Dominic who was behaving absurdly, when everything that had happened to him today so far was completely, absolutely impossible.

“Oh shit.” Dominic buried his face in his hands. “It isn’t.”

It probably _was_ a dream. A nightmare that was going on for far too long, caused by the concussion. That was the only explanation that made sense.

But he knew dreams. This didn’t feel like a dream.

“I’m fucked.” In the truest sense of the word, he thought, still feeling slightly sore from earlier.

Then he remembered the feeling of David inside him, fucking him with all the unrestrained vigor he’d always known David was hiding behind that snooty on-set veneer.

Slowly, a reluctant smile broke out on his face.

Well, maybe he _was_ fucked—but it could have been worse. After all, for as long as this dream lasted, he could make all of his secret fantasies come true. Especially those scenes David had already shot down when he’d suggested that they should put more sexual tension in.

“So about that escape scene,” he said slowly, “do you mind if we go through the script together again? Because I think I’ve got some great suggestions for our dialogue…”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Tied Up in the Tap Room (the Les Jizzerables Episode Six Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20746019) by [jehane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jehane/pseuds/jehane)




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